I posted this blog a couple of years ago, but still resonate with the feelings I expressed at that point.
Hope you survive this Monday – I know I woke up desiring a bit more sleep.
Jen
……….
I had the privilege of skyping with a dear friend today (so grateful for technology in those moments) and my dating life came up. Her friend had read a book that recommended single people to make it a goal over one week’s time to have a conversation with, and give their contact information, to five members of the opposite sex. She thought it might be something I should try. My response? Panic. Pure and utter panic. Now, she is not a friend who goes around trying to fix me. When she gives a recommendation, I know she has prayed about it and that it is at the very least, worth my consideration. The panic itself was sort of a confirmation that everything was not ok internally, that these are places the Lord wants to heal, and that I was headed in the right direction. Crap.
Part of me can see the Lord’s call in this. The other part is terrified. This is the way things go with me. When the Lord touches parts of my heart that are extremely vulnerable I respond with panic and stubbornness. But eventually it dies down and I relent. I am waiting for the relenting to begin.
Gary Thomas wrote a book called “Sacred Marriage”. His thesis revolves around the idea that, while marriage can be a joyful thing, its main purpose is for sanctification. As I sat and thought about this conversation with my friend, I had a similar idea about dating. Dating, at least for me, feels like a process of sanctification. It feels a little odd to write this, and yet, I think it is true. Somehow, through this bizarre process of meeting others, the Lord is purifying me, and revealing the places in me that are scared to trust another. To trust another man. To trust God. Or in my case, considering going out and more intentionally meeting others.
Still not relenting yet, but maybe a few steps closer to doing so. Lord have mercy!