I am a walking contradiction. One moment I feel nothing. The next I’m crying, overwhelmed with feelings. Sometimes I feel as though I never left, but the changes I observe usually poke their heads out and remind me that I have left.
My first week here I had all these weird moments, realizing that I could or couldn’t do something. I remember that words like “dodgy” and “cheers” aren’t familiar here. My first couple of days I kept walking around my house, opening doors and closets and cupboards. Does that make me crazy. I’m such a verbal processor, so it all just pours out of my mouth. And I think some people think I’m weird/crazy, etc. But not everyone. And I also kept thinking how loud everyone was.
I can’t wait for this time next year – and I can see where I’m at and all that’s happened.
There’s so much to say, but I just don’t feel like saying it/can’t think of what to say. Like I said, I’m a contradiction.