Courage To Be Me

Jen Ip

(Note: if you missed the introduction to this series, be sure to read it first.)

What defines strength for me may not be what strength means to you. From this moment forward, here lie my ideas of strength, with courage to be vulnerable and the bravery to say, This is me. Cue Keala Settle. Resist the temptation to compare yourself and remember what makes YOU strong.

I am 35, not married/never been married, no kids, and living in France. I’m a life coach and I’ve taken what I call a “sabbatical year” to pursue my Master’s in International Human Resources and Organizational Development.

Life hasn’t turned out as I had imagined. It’s actually turned out better than I had ever imagined. But that doesn’t mean it hasn’t come with pain, sadness, anger towards God, confusion and fear. And it doesn’t mean that I’m not experiencing that now or won’t  experience pain in the future. Actually, it’s almost guaranteed. But what I’m most thankful for in these moments is the ability to readjust my perspective and to see my life for the amazingness that it is and, even in some of the painful moments of sadness, move towards greater growth, joy, and faith. This is courage. Strength in the face of pain or grief.

In Latin the word Courage comes from the root word Cor, which means heart. Courage comes from the heart. And because I’m in France, the word for heart is Coeur.

I am reminded of moments which have made me a strong and courageous woman. Here are some of the ways I’ve seen myself and others around me have courage and ultimately the greatest strength.

• Having courage to take steps of faith, when there was no faith, only the remembrance of a time when you did.
• Knowing who you are and why you do what you do.
• Understanding and acknowledging your own limitations.
• Asking for help.
• Asking for honest feedback, when you’re afraid of what they will say.
• Saying no, when all you want, is to say yes.
• Saying no, because you know the only reason you’ll say yes is because it will increase your ego.
• Saying “I don’t know”.
• Praying for greater awareness of areas of growth.
• Continuing to try something even if it hasn’t worked out before.
• Engaging in a hard conversation even though you think you know it’s going to turn out badly.
• Engaging in resolving conflict.
• Saying what you believe, even if your voice quivers and you’re tongue tied.
• Admitting that you were wrong.
• Admitting that you’ve changed your mind.
• Choosing to apply for a job you are pretty sure you’re unqualified for, but who the hell cares!
• Opening your own business.
• Choosing to go to counseling.
• Recognizing that you are strong.
• Wearing heels because it makes you feel badass.
• Choosing your own voice in the sea of a thousand voices telling you what to do.
• Choosing to try to have another baby even though you’ve had a miscarriage, or 7 miscarriages.
• Taking the time to engage a conversation with your best friend or a homeless person.
• Doing something that isn’t easy for you to do.
• Recognizing that you need to grow in a specific area and reaching out for mentorship.
• Choosing your heart, over your mind, and being heart broken.
• Choosing to start a blog even though you think no one will read it.
• Going back to school after 13 years to gain more knowledge.
• Fighting for what you believe in.
• Knowing who you are and waiting for what you know God wants for you.

This was not an easy list to create. There is a lot of heartache and even some unknowns behind these words. This is what makes me strong because I can choose to look at these and be reminded of who I am.

So, because I’m a life coach, I pose these reflection questions to you…

• What makes you strong? Reflect on 3 things in the past 2 months that you believe have made you stronger.
• Who in your life needs to be reminded that God has created them to be a strong badass woman who is worthy of love? Please have the courage to tell them. It might be just what they need to hear.
• Is there something in which you’ve lacked the courage and want to finally do? Who will you share this with and hold you accountable for doing it?

AND JUST for vulnerability sake… I’ve been afraid to re-open my website for my coaching business/lifestyle blog/travels. So if in a month www.journeyingwithjen.com is not up and running… you can contact me for a free coaching session. AH! Ok… I’m doing it.

Like the Cowardly Lion says in the Wizard of Oz:

Read what my medal says: Courage Ain’t it the truth? Ain’t it the truth?

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Bio: I am a California girl through and through, living and learning in the French Alps. I‘m currently getting my Master’s and hopefully will come back to the States to work. My joy would be to marry coaching and learning and development in a workplace environment. I’m also owning my own side hustle of my coaching business, because life’s too short not to go after what I want and try new things. My favorite emoji is the fist bump and generally I say “boom” in my head when I choose it. Follow me at Instagram: journeywingwithjen. I am available for coaching sessions! Look for my new website in a month.

Song choice: This is Me by Keala Settle and The Greatest Showman Ensemble

Why: It’s totally my jam right now. 1. I loved the movie, because it’s about the misfits who are really ALL of us. 2. THE BEAT, the drums, the empowerment. 3. Ultimately it’s the strength and courage that this group becomes aware of and through the pain they found the courage to stand up for who they are. “I am brave, I am bruised, I am who I’m meant to be, this is me.”

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Catch up on all of the Stronger posts:

Stronger Introduction

When We Roar by Amanda Macadam

Finally by Jessica Lacy Driscoll

Model and Empower by Lydia Lockhart